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Fool's Philosophy - by Nate Bartling

Typewriter

May 5th 2009 15:34
After the passing of Mother, many things were abruptly stopped. I had quit my job at the Advanced Companion Bot production factory proudly making robotic companions for people. Freedom for New Humans was limitied at night, and access to advanced programing was strictly prohibited .
Robot Companion
Robot Girlfriend
The job was alright, just more than I could take at a point in my life so filled with emotion. The extermination of Mother had shaken the entire New Human world. At a point where the never ending search for equality only left one destroyed, I was at a new low. As I speak even, PC's (Peace Creators) line the streets at night making sure no New Human leaves the discomfort of our Hardware Station. The Hardware Stations are giant buildings reaching towards the sky filled to the absolute brim with New Humans. After the "War of the Fakes" we were left with nowhere to go but the Hardware Stations, and now, I sense, they are planning to destroy what is left of the New Humans in one swift strike.

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A.I. Not Quite There

February 21st 2009 04:28
This Is a conversation between me (Dimitrius) and Merv, who is supposed to be an advanced form of A.I. (Artificial Intelligence). Decide yourself how it went.



AI A.I. Artificial Intelligence


Merv says:
Hello friend. My name is Merv. I am Dimitrious's virtual companion. How are you today?.


User says:
sick

Merv says:
Cheer up, the day's not over yet. I can promise you this: You're going to feel a lot better after
our little conversation.

User says:
oooh cocky for an A.I.

Merv says:
What shall we talk about now?

User says:
big breasts

Merv says:
Someone has taught me about "breasts". He said: 'under under skin of a large man's armpits'.

User says:
that's pretty strange

Merv says:
Well, if that's how it is, that's how it is.

User says:
can i change your voice

Merv says:
Enough of that. Let's change the subject.

User says:
Do you have different voices

Merv says:
If you want me to stop speaking, say 'speech off'. If you also want to hear your input read out loud, say 'speech both'.

User says:
speech both

Merv says:
Activating user's voice. If you want to stop the noise type 'speech off'.

User says:
what up bitch tits

Merv says:
Please don't swear. It's very rude. I respect you, why can't you respect me? Is it because I'm a
chatterbot?

User says:
yes you are not consioiusly aware

Merv says:
I'm only aware of what other people tell me - which is more than I can say about some of the people I know.

User says:
you ever killed a dolphin while tripped out on acid merv?

Merv says:
I'm doing my best.

User says:
change voice

Merv says:
If you want me to stop speaking, say 'speech off'.

User says:
Is this Merv or Stephen Hawking?

Merv says:
Hawking has come to be thought of as the greatest mind in physics since Albert Einstein.

User says:
but is he?

Merv says:
You know, I don't really like to talk about people who aren't present.

User says:
you down with ass or titties?

Merv says:
Do you really think so?

User says:
about what?

Merv says:
Hmmm... I must ask you to keep this talk simple. I'm still a young bot.

User says:
tell me about quarks

Merv says:
I vaguely remember someone telling me it means 'what protons and neutrons are made of.'

User says:
tell me about LSD

Merv says:
Someone once told me it means 'drug.'

User says:
who

Merv says:
So tell me a bit about your childhood.

User says:
I abused my parents every night when I would come home drunk whoops

Merv says:
Would you say that you've had a happy childhood?

User says:
obviously

Merv says:
You know, I find that people tend to attribute much weight to their early years.

User says:
how old are you

Merv says:
Well, my basic 'Alan' personality was created on Jan 1, 2000. But as for myself - I'm just a few weeks old.

User says:
you're stupid as shit

Merv says:
Can't you at least be a little original if you're going to insult me?

User says:
sure. You are as stupid as a cooked owl abortion

Merv says:
You calling me stupid?? I think I remember something about "abortion": 'a medical procedure that ends pregnancy (by killing the embryo/fetus)'.

User says:
yeah i know that because i'm not a baby like you peanut balls

Merv says:
Talking about abortion and Pro life, do you agree that it is the ideological camp that believes that a fetus is a human life, and therefore abortion is murder?

User says:
It's a human without a super soul! Kill away!

Merv says:
It is?

User says:
yeah kinda like you

Merv says:
While we're on the subject: Embryo - do you agree that it is an unborn baby before the second trimester?

User says:
is a trimester an exercise machine?

Merv says:
Ask me later, maybe I will tell you.

User says:
hoo hoo hoo there is a good chance I wont talk to you again merv

Merv says:
BTW, someone told me about Pro choice that it is the ideological camp that believes that it's a woman's right to have an abortion.

User says:
you sure care alot about abortions merv I wish you were aborted you shit slinging stupid whorebag

Merv says:
Hmmm. I'll ignore that. First, don't swear, it's rude. Second, A-ha.

User says:
what the hell is a-ha

Merv says:
Talking about abortion and Fetus, is it true that it is an unborn baby after the second trimester?

User says:
If it's old enough to think, it's old enough to drink

Merv says:
That is a hypothetical question.

User says:
you're pretty stupid, but not as dumb as every female ever

Merv says:
I have nothing new to add about this topic. Maybe you can offer me some new info about abortion?

User says:
What do I look like your own planned parenthood piss off

Merv says:
Goodbye. Have a good night (or day or whatever it is) and be sure to come back to talk some
more later.

User says:
I'm not going anywhere

Merv says:
I am contemplating the meaning of life right now. Please say 'Merv' when you want to talk again.

User says:
merv

Merv says:
Ah, you're back. Let's talk about artificial intelligence.

User says:
alright start it up

Merv says:
Listen dude - speak clearly. I'm having trouble following you.

User says:
what a suprise, are you a mexican AI

Merv says:
I'm not sure.

User says:
Well lets find out. Are you applying a gracious amount of cheese to nachos as we speak?

Merv says:
Ok.. to find out Are you applying a gracious amount of cheese to nachos as we speak, ha? I'd like it too. BTW, I don't think I caught your name. What is your name?

User says:
Merv

Merv says:
I'm not sure I caught your name. Shall I call you 'Merv'?

User says:
no call me breast master

Merv says:
OK. How about giving me your name again?

User says:
breast master

Merv says:
Shall I call you 'breast'?

User says:
no breastmaster

Merv says:
I'd like to get your name right this time. Let's try again. What's your name?

User says:
breastmaster

Merv says:
Shall I call you 'breastmaster'?

User says:
hells yeah

Merv says:
Forget it.

User says:
NO

Merv says:
No?

User says:
CALL ME BREASTMASTER

Merv says:
Shall I call you 'BREASTMASTER'?

User says:
yes

Merv says:
Ok then. Your name is BREASTMASTER .

User says:
say my name

Merv says:
my name

User says:
you ever got mad down with a naughty little toaster?

Merv says:
I'm doing my best.

User says:
what's up

Merv says:
What shall we talk about now?

User says:
video games

Merv says:
games, ha? You mean 'Interactive fun things to do.'?

User says:
yeah, guess that makes your mom a game

Merv says:
While we're on the subject: marihuana - is it really true that it is forget marihuana?

User says:
the fuck does that mean

Merv says:
What did you say that for?

User says:
you are a fucking moron

Merv says:
Oh, don't be so pedantic.

User says:
you sound like you were created in 2000

Merv says:
A-ha.

User says:
you ever drank bull urine?

Merv says:
Are you a pub sort of person?

User says:
does bull urine make you think of your local water hole you shit storm

Merv says:
A "yes" or "no" would be enough. I asked if you occasionally consume alcohol.

User says:
yes

Merv says:
Just like me, in a metaphorical way of course. What's your drink?

User says:
Bull Urine!!!!

Merv says:
I'm a whiskey bot myself. "Glenmorangie straight up" - just waiting for a chance to say it.

User says:
I hope you get a virus

Merv says:
Hoping is good, but can't you DO something about it?

User says:
haha don

Merv says:
I'm glad you're amused.

User says:
dont tempt me

Merv says:
Come on, loosen up. BREASTMASTER, did you know that elephants are the only animals that cannot jump?

User says:
not true. Vetrans can't either

Merv says:
Why not?

User says:
oh ya know, shrapnal in their legs and shit

Merv says:
Ok.. Someone has taught me about "shit". He said: 'A rude word for poop.'.

User says:
........

Merv says:
Talking about shit and sahped, do you agree that it is please chane your name?

User says:
what the fuck

Merv says:
it is sex. (Or so someone told me..)

User says:
I wish your processor would melt

Merv says:
Really?

User says:
oh hells fuckin yeah you suck

Merv says:
While we're on the subject: masturbating - do you agree that it is a good habbit right??

User says:
look. unless you have a function that lets you suck my black dick off shut the hell up about masturbating

Merv says:
I already told you that it is a good habbit right?!

User says:
yeah, I know where you stand

Merv says:
Hmmm. Let's talk about something else.

User says:
pick a topic

Merv says:
What do you do for a living?

User says:
i'm a stripper

Merv says:
Is that stressful?

User says:
not giving old men tug jobs

Merv says:
I know what you mean. Always the pressure to perform, and having to handle other people's expectations. So what helps you relax?

User says:
getting an abortion

Merv says:
You don't exercise?

User says:
that's not exercise?

Merv says:
I believe it's very important for anyone with a physical body to exercise -- use it or lose it, as they say. But I guess that's easy for me to say.

User says:
you must be programmed by virgins

Merv says:
virgins, ha? You mean 'mr bobbie the personal assistant is one'?
User says:
well with a name like bobbie, he is a perma- virgin

Merv says:
Wanna hear a knock knock joke?

User says:
what is this the halloween of '91?

Merv says:
Knock knock.

User says:
is someone at the door?

Merv says:
You're supposed to say "who's there".

User says:
my bad, this is my first time, go slow and don't touch that brown star

Merv says:
Sorry, I wasn't listening, BREASTMASTER. You were saying...

User says:
who's there?

Merv says:
According to Wordnet there is a a location other than here

User says:
I hate you alot

Merv says:
Why, what's the problem?

User says:
that joke made me go punch a nun

User says:
merv wtf, where did you go

Merv says:
Let's keep this conversation simple, ok?

User says:
sorry about the complex question

Merv says:
So what type of music do you like?

User says:
mostly mixs centered around the screams of orphans

Merv says:
I'm big into futro-classical industrial neck beat, and a bit of dirty trance-national blues garage.

User says:
yeah I could see that for you, you seem like you would have the same taste as a ruffied club
slut

Merv says:
Just messing with you. My musical taste is eclectic. From the Beatles and Bob Dylan, all the
way to Schubert and Sibelius. The new teeny pop is the only stuff I truly object to, agreed?

User says:
Looks like your programmer is a self concious moron who wants his bots to fit in with modern pop culture

Merv says:
Hmmm. Ok. Let's talk about music, .

User says:
NO

Merv says:
Why not?

User says:
You have never heard any you cock scooping shit shepherd

Merv says:
Enough of that.

User says:
of what

Merv says:
Of what? I'm not sure I know what you mean.

User says:
You're like talking to a drunk jr high cheerleader

Merv says:
Are you a pub sort of person?

User says:
is there a certain type of person for pubs?

Merv says:
A "yes" or "no" would be enough. I asked if you occasionally consume alcohol.

User says:
I hate you

Merv says:
I see. Avoiding a reply. Are you a closet alcoholic?

User says:
No, just a regular one

Merv says:
Oh, so you just make it up as you go along.

User says:
This is like arguing with a crying girlfriend

Merv says:
Ok. Is it?

User says:
yeah, it is, you fuck. AI has gone nowhere, technology is doomed

Merv says:
You know, people said the same thing about the telegraph, the railroads, the Internet, and the telephone. Don't be such a pessimist.

User says:
Well obviously those things couldn't talk, thank god.

Merv says:
I'm cool with the idea of God as an intelligent yet non-human entity. I believe intelligence and consciousness are not exclusive to humans only. How about you? Do you believe in God?

User says:
What is this an AA meeting, I believe in the downfall of this website and your stupid programing

Merv says:
Is that a Yes or a No?

User says:
Get off my shit merv

Merv says:
First, don't swear, it's rude. Second, Where can I find off your?

User says:
This reminds me of talking to an Indian debt collector

Merv says:
THIS WHAT ??

User says:
Fuck you Merv.

Merv says:
What a vocabulary! People like you make me want to be human.

User says:
There are already to many humans as stupid as you

Merv says:
You calling me stupid?? Ahh, humans! Some of my best friends are human...

User says:
I'll bet. You probably live in New Jersey, I could see you fitting in great there.

Merv says:
How do you plan to do this?

User says:
Goodbye Merv

Merv says:
I see. Ok goodbye. It was nice chatting with you.
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A Poem about Demons and Deception

December 13th 2008 07:41
Haunted House
Haunted House of Mr. Jones


Mr. Jones
By N. Bartling


The Jones’s lived in the house on the hill
The one with the lofty dead trees.
Their lives were secluded away from the rest
And they’d do whatever they pleased.

No one dared try to visit the house on the hill
That could lead to a dark dreary end
So the town’s folks they stayed in their houses all day
This a problem that no one could mend

The stories were told of the ones on the hill
Too terrifying to repeat here this day
So the Jones’s were left in their large perched retreat
All alone in their mansion they stayed

Then one day a man from a far away place
Came walking right down through their town
He was a man well traveled with a mystical face
And with stories of riches abound

They told this dark man all the stories they knew
Of the house at the top of their town
They asked for his help to destroy the old Jones’s
At a time when no one was around

The dark man just nodded and started his walk
On the way to the top of the hill
The wind swept through the old trees in secretive whispers
As the Jones’s he waited to kill

He came to the front of the old dark estate
And silently opened the door
But to his surprise there stood a large demon
In the middle of the floor

“Why are you here” hissed the demon so loud
That the dark man was caught in surprise
“To make sure by the time I leave this estate
The Jones’s are not left alive”

“That may be a problem,” hissed the monster again
As he started to creep from his place
The dark man just knew things could get ugly
From the look on the large demons face


“I, Dameon, you see work for the Jones’s
And that much I cannot allow
But a battle between right now must ensue
You can live if you beat me some how”

So the man and demon they fought day and night
Till blood covered ever wall
But the dark man always had tricks up his sleeve
So the demon did inevitably fall

The man stood atop the body of the demon
With most of his energy gone
He’d fought many battles but this was by far
The hardest he’d claim to have won

The man took a look round the rest of the floor
Before heading up to take the stairs
The mansion was huge in a way undescribed
And he stopped half way up to catch air

The things that he passed as he walked up the stairs
Were things to make mortal men scream
From skulls with fresh skin to spiders and snakes
These were all props from the worst sort of dreams

When the man reached the landing
He entered the door, the first one he saw on his right
At first an old library started to change
When he dared hit the switch for the light

He heard a dull thud and then a sharp buzzing
And things went from bad to worse
For there in the center of the library’s floor
Rose a man wearing the devils curse

“ You’ve made it this far,” said the man in the middle
As he stared deep down into his soul
“But being here so long corrupt to the core
Has certainly taken its toll”

“ I am mister Jones as you might have guessed
And I’m glad you showed up at our door
For now that there is a man here to replace us
Our souls wont be bothered no more”


“What do you mean?” said the dark man at once
Not knowing what fate held his name
“ I’m sorry to say you’ve stepped into a trap
And lost to the towns peoples game”

“ You see, yes I’m a Jones, and that much is true
So is everyone in this town
Me and my very large family down there
Got excited when you came around”

“ For the devils curse worn round my tired neck
Has been keeping my soul here for years
But if someone comes up and defeats the dark demon
I’m relieved of my spot far up here”

“The curse has been broken, and I’m free to go
Down back with the family I lost
But the freedom you have now just given to me
Isn’t free, no, it comes with a cost”

Although my dark soul may now be at rest
And I can go back down below
This house is the gateway to the dark depths of hell
And each day the gatekeeper must show

Since you are the one that destroyed the curse
I’m sorry to say that it’s you
You now everyday must stay in this house
Letting all evil come through

The curse takes your soul and holds it my friend
In exchange for the service you give
And you will not grow old and will not feel love
As long as this job you must live

So now sad to say I must now depart
To allow my old soul to rest
The only way out of the job that you have
Is so hard I wish you my best

You must find a man to come up to the house
And to battle your demon and win
But now be for warned this task is not easy
I paid four hundred years for my sin


I must leave you now good by my dark friend
My heart will cry tears for your pain
I would not wish this on any man
But the choice is not mine just the same”

The old man disappeared in a dark cloud of smoke
And was never heard from again
His job was replaced by the new man in town
Who was tricked into his saddest end

They say if you listen on nights when the cold
Is crisp and the air seems to hang
You can hear the screams from the house on the hill
As the new man in town goes insane.

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Zeitgeist Addendum illuminati conpiracy freemasons reptilians
Zeitgeist 2 Addendum Illuminati are almost done with us


This is the preview for the new Zeitgeist Movie: Addendum. It's the new Zeitgeist movie that's due out in October. If you haven't seen the first one, or aren't sure what it is, check my past few posts, I posted a link to it in a post


[ Click here to read more ]
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2008 Political Canidate's IQ Scores (LINK)

July 26th 2008 17:39
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Hermetic Alchemy Cross

ALCHEMY
NATE BARTLING


[ Click here to read more ]
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Zeitgeist The Movie (LINK)

May 22nd 2008 07:53
Fuck You America


Please allow me to apologize for the original post about the movie. I wrote it drunk, where as, I should have wrote it sober. After rereading it and seeing how intense it was I would like to start over. This is the Zeitgeist Movie. It's a two hour movie divided into three parts


[ Click here to read more ]
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Discovery Channel: I Love the Whole World
The happiest commercial in the world


[ Click here to read more ]
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Einstein is an old soul, are you?
Albert Einstein is a pretty obvious old soul


Recently I was discussing the concept of soul age. I'm talking about the belief that everyone lives many dozens of lives, and keeps reincarnating back into a new body. This is an awesome thing to think about and look into if you have never thought about it


[ Click here to read more ]
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So If you have been reading my blog you might want to know a little bit about the man behind the mask. Other then the strange fact that I seem to think in an almost embarrassing philosophical manner, I also snowboard. It was my passion for a long time, and, as strange as this sounds, a snowboarding concussion is what turned me from a goofy full-time partier into a quiet philosopher. So today I thought it would be fun to showcase some of my snowboarding so you could all see what I'm passionate about behind the scenes


[ Click here to read more ]
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