10 Funny Quotes
October 2nd 2006 23:10
Groucho Marx (Wikipedia)
Steven Wright
I don't do drugs anymore... than say, the average touring funk band.
Bill Hicks
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thoughts I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home
My wife had a go at me last night. She said, "You'll drive me to my grave." I had the car out in thirty seconds.
Tommy Cooper
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
John Cleese
Work is the curse of the drinking classes
Oscar Wilde
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
Homer Simpson
The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi.
Dennis Leary
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected
Spike Milligan
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Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Here's a couple more ...
"Don't drink water, fish fuck in it" --- W. C. Fields
"I started at the top and worked my way down" --- Orson Welles
"What's the best thing to do after a line of cocaine? ... Another." --- anonymous
Comment by Gareth
"Im not addicted to Cocaine........I just like the smell of it." Richard Pryor
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by spain01
Juan Carlos
spain again
While your'e about it
Viva l'difference
Fire News Blog
Comment by Gareth
Another of my favourite ones is "A woman is an accasional pleasure, but a cigar is always a smoke".
Comment by spain01
Juan Carlos
spain again
While your'e about it
Viva l'difference
Fire News Blog
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by ya mamma
...
yo mammas like a door knob every one gets a turn
.....
ya mammas like a vacume cleaner she sucks she blows and gets laid in the closet